Preparing for Snow, Southern Style

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow...
Snow is forecasted again for the Atlanta area on Monday.  Record snow.  Maybe as much as 6 inches. Much to the amusement of those who live in places such as Wisconsin or Wyoming, when the South gets hit with snow, the whole world stops. Atlanta has a total of 8 sand trucks for the entire Metro area. Schools close. Grocery stores run out of items. Emergency crews can't get to anything. Power lines go down.

So, with that in mind, I have compiled my list of Emergency Snow Management items.

  1. Run out to the store at the first mention of flurries and buy toilet paper.  In bulk. Something about snow evidently loosens Southerner's sphincters.
  2. Gather the following items while you are at Publix:  Pop Tarts*, Beef Jerky, Coca Cola, white bread and milk. 
  3. Buy enough salt to completely coat your driveway at least 1 inch thick.  Pay no attention to the fact that once you get out of your driveway you won't be able to go anywhere because the roads are all iced over. 
  4. Buy all the rechargable flashlights you can find.  Ignore the fact that once the power goes out you won't be able to recharge them.
  5. Don't forget to stop at the Package Store on the way home.  Heaven forbid you run out of beer or Jack for 24 hours.  Prepare to buy extra in case the snow storm is scheduled to hit on a Monday, since all the Package Stores are closed on Sundays.
  6. Fill your car up with gas.  Again, refer to item #3.
  7. Make sure you forget at least one crucial item on your list so you can go back to the store at the beginning of the storm only to be upset that it's sold out.

 *Think I'm kidding?  When Hurricanes or other weather events are forecasted, Wal Mart says the number one thing they sell out of is Strawberry Pop Tarts. 
I'm sure I'm missing something on this list.  After all, I'm only a transplanted Southerner from Southern California.  I haven't been let in on all the secrets yet.



Anonymous said…
LOL! Thanks for the laugh!