|Just look at that ooey, gooey, cheesy, potato-y goodness. Nom.|
Monday, September 29, 2014
Saturday, September 27, 2014
A vulture boards an air plane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Let me get this part out of the way. I'm a Klutz. I have been one for most of my life. In kindergarten I walked under a teeter totter and got knocked out cold. That was my first visit to the school nurse.. Over the years, the school nurse and I became good friends, with me ending up injured in various ways. Break a collar bone falling off the jungle gym? Check. Break your nose by dropping a chair on it? Yep, did that, too. Sprained fingers and wrist? Of course. Tweak the knee in a dance class? How graceful. The school nurse used to affectionately tell me I was an accident waiting to happen.
Graduation did not end my Klutzy Capades. Back, wrist, tailbone ? Yes, yes and yes. Electric shock? I've zapped myself enough to raise Frankenstein's monster. More recently I slipped in the kitchen because I wasn't paying attention and I slipped in a puddle of dog piddle. Not only did my knee hurt, my tush was wet, too. Ewww. Flash forward to last week and I did it again, this time on the bathroom tile. Now, it isn't the dog's fault. She did get MOST of her piddle on the pee pad. It was mine for thinking I could slip in to the bathroom without turning on the light and waking my sleeping husband and dogs. And slip I did. Consequently, I woke up everyone, too.
After a week of it to improving, I finally went to see the PA. The good news, no torn ACL. The bad news, there is fluid behind the knee cap and damage to the cartilage. He told me to stay off my feet for the next week and use crutches if I absolutely have to walk. Ha ha ha ha ha. How long has he known me? I'm scheduled to work all weekend, so resting is out of the question.
But today? Today I am sitting up on the couch with my knee up. A heat pack is wrapped around my leg and the prednisone is giving me an energy buzz.
And the crutches? They are propped over in the corner. Out of the way so I don't trip over them.